The Fun of Starbucks


I really love their strong coffee.

But it’s more than that.

There’s the whole experience;
First, I have to deal with that line-up.

Depending on the location and time of day
Your gonna find about 6 to 8 people in that line-up.

Well, that’s when Starbucks does this curious thing…

They’re aware they have 8 or so people standing in line.
When they elect to greet every single person with a question.

Oh, and not…What would you like to order?
No, it’s… “Welcome to Starbucks, How are you today?”

Ya know I hear them asking this to each person…
And I think to myself as ‘number 8’ inline…
what if someone isn’t having a good day here?

The odds are this is very possible, you know.
So I’ll start checking the people in line, before me.
Looking for any signs of emotional instability
Because with my luck some girl will burst into tears,
Having busted up with her boyfriend or something.

I just think this is a risky question to be asking,
while other people are waiting in line behind.

And when my turn finally comes up? I’m never ready to order.
I know I’m supposed to use that time in line deciding on my drink.
But for some reason… I find myself thinking about all kinds of other stuff.

First, I scan the room; see who’s here. Anybody I know?
But I’m careful not make eye contact cuz I haven’t got time for chitchat, I’m too busy trying to check for signs of emotional instability in my fellow line up -ers.

Also, I check out how stressed the Baristas are trying to keep the line from growing out the door. They’re never stressed enough, in my opinion.

One day last week, they looked so relaxed with a queue of like 10 people that I almost felt the need to hiss ‘stress’ STRESS into one of their ears, I resisted, but then I was thinking maybe I should just drop down into cardiac arrest and see if the one in charge could even look up from doing her little manicure.

Anyway, the point of that is I always use my line-up time thinking about other stuff.
So by the time they ask for my order, well I’m ready to look at the menu.

It pisses people off, I know, but it’s just the way I roll. OK?

So I’ve placed my order; now this is where Starbucks resembles a walk-in clinic.

Having been through the waiting room, you don’t get the drink right away…

You wait in this little holding facility, like a sort of detention unit for about 10 minutes. Then eventually, they give you your drink.

Then – the name – they always spell mine wrong, I mean how many variations can you come up with for MITZI? About 36 according to the manicurist who runs the local franchise.

The other day, I found out why they do that – spell your name wrong that is; they WANT you to post a photo of it on social media. Like ‘Look how #starbucks #spelt my #name #lol #smilycryingemoji’. It sickens me. Coz you know, I’ve done it, and now I just feel like a fool…

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